sleepless fury

april 14th

Skies I Sea

I spent most of last night and early, early, EARLY this morning talking to James and Miriam. I like them both. They are definitely awesome.

Well... today was pretty normal, so I won't go into the usual boringness. There are two special notes of interests that I'd like to get into, then I'll fill you in on the normal stuff. Whatever that may be.

Well, for awhile I've been receiving mail about svengali. I receive mail of encouragement, mail that my site sucks, mail about nothing sometimes... But I've been receiving mail from one individual that I think all of you should read:

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Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1998 23:21:32 -0800
From: "unknown"
To: "randallcross@deathsdoor.com"

once again, I cannot stress how much you site sucks. you should get rid of it. it's a waste of cyberspace. you are a waste of space. i hope you do die when you are 21.
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Why would someone send this to me? Why would you bother someone, threatening someone you don't even know, and then be chicken shit enough to not put your email address so that the person cannot respond? Obviously it's someone who knows what they're doing, as I can't track who is sending me these emails. I believe that this is the third email that this person has sent me, and I doubt this will be the last. Apparently I've made a powerful enemy, although I have no idea how or why. How bothersome.

I can't say that I'm really freaked out. For some reason this person is really chicken shit. He/she has to hide behind an "unknown" mask, and doesn't even validate what he/she is saying. If my site sucks, why? If I'm a waste of space, why? And why isn't he/she for that matter? I'm not scared, but it does bother me. The bad thing is even though I don't know who it is, I want to reconcile with this person, and try to make things alright between the two of us. *shrug* I guess I've always been like this. My mind never really can rest when I know that someone doesn't like me, but knew that if I tried, I'd be able to make this person see that I'm alright, or at least a tolerable person in their eyes. Either way, I don't think I'm going to find out who this person is anytime soon.

If I start getting decapitated Ken dolls in the mail, then I'll start getting scared. *chuckle*

And now for the second point of interest for today: my father is home again. *cough* I was sure to make a quick inspection before Krys and I left in order to see if everything was clean and in its place, and it was, so we left for the airport at about 7:30, the time when his flight was supposed to arrive. My father travels a lot, so I know (experience gained by countless airport arrival pickups) that if I leave when his flight is supposed to arrive, he'll have enough time to board off the plane, get his luggage and then stand outside the terminal just as I'm about to pull in. Isn't that quite a skill? Anyhow, when we picked him up, he seemed to be in good spirits. I couldn't think why he wouldn't be - he was in Montreal with one (yes one of many, damn womanizer) of his girlfriends, who happens to be pregnant, and so I guess he was there making all sorts of plans. I don't even know if he's gonna marry this lady. If not, this will be his second illegitimate child. I mean, I have major respect for my dad, because after all, he IS my dad, plus he's made himself so successful, pulling his life out of the dumps. But so often I look at him and think "adulterer". He cheated on my mom, and that has always hurt me. I've learned to deal with it though. He's a good father (even though we don't get along), but I guess he's got a weakness for women. *sigh*

The ride home was pretty silent - it mostly consisted of small talk about school and if me and my sister were able to cope comfortable during his vacation. Nothing really interesting. He was nice enough to offer to buy us hoagies at Wawa (kinda like a 711 for all you folks that have NO idea what I'm talking about) before we got home, and gladly we obliged. I guess he had a really good trip. He's usually in such a rush to get home after a plane ride. *shrug*

Forget the rest of the day. I'm tired.



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