throwing caution into the wind. that was something that i was going to attempt with the newest incarnation of my collected personal writings. mind you, i did make some minor effort to protect those that i mentioned so there wouldn’t any type of backlash towards them, but i wasn’t really looking to protect myself in any way. i mean, why did i need to? not many people knew that i was writing again (except for you few crazy people that stayed on my mailing list during the two year hiatus from the web – i love you guys!) and mostly because this is for me. it’s my page, it’s my writing, it’s my thoughts and feelings, so why should i not benefit because of being worried about what others would think of me and what i was thinking?
because of this, i became embarrassed. not because someone who i wrote about eventually found what i was writing and questioned why i would write those things about them without talking to them about it. it was because i couldn’t believe i hadn’t done it sooner. having written about what went on in my life for several years, i always wrote through the filter of preventing any type of negative altercation of consequence; this left my writings drab and mundane for the most part, without any real sense of emotion or genuineness.
granted, i could have chosen some words with more wisdom – if i weren’t so lucky some people might have been offended or hurt, which would definitely not have been my intent. as i pointed out earlier, this is for me. this is a way for me to process my stream of consciousness in a tangible way, a way to get all the analytical out in front of me in a tangible manner. and i love it.
even with the television muted i can still hear what guy pearce is saying: rolo tomasi.