Mar 03


step 729263684534: inhale.

his foot twitched. the light is too bright, i need to turn it off. i haven’t been able to play metroid fusion as much as i’d like too – i should be finished by now. do i have enough money in my checking account? maybe i need to transfer some funds. when will that battery ship? i should just go ahead and get that case on eBay. bed, bed, BED! why can’t i get motivated? i need to stop enjoying being lazy. i should ask j—- if he wants to go running. i need to call my sister. i need to call my other sister. i need to go visit my baby sister and talk logistics with my father. i wonder how j— is doing. when will a— finally get it? when will m— realize he is being a dick? c—- just got married this weekend, he looks happy. should i bring up the INS to him? my bike rack is still sitting in my office – i should probably set that back up on my car (because of all the copious amounts of biking i’ve been doing). sammy needs to write me back. what the fuck is dreamhosts problem? children of dune starts this month! w00t! i love scannerfunk, but i’ve been listening to medeski, martin and wood. i have too many credit cards, must cancel and consolidate. i need to work on stockscams. i need to work on schiffrin & barroway. i need to work on hatzel & beuhler. i did 3 sets of 40 sit-ups, doesn’t feel like enough. should i get a new computer? a powerbook 12er, or a iMac 17er? or maybe a (shudder) pc? sure would be cheaper. i need to sign up for that motorcycle class. i need to call in about car insurance, being 25 and all. i need to look into a ducati monster. i have to finish wrapping up code on dreams. a— and i need to finish comaflow. then we start on valueneutral. tell j—- to do cerebralflux stuff so i can install MT. need to plan out somnific and scannerfunk. drop drinking iced tea. take tally of how many days i’ve stopped smoking. bring hacksaw to father. look into boards of canada. visit dentist. buy razors. shave head tonight. sleep early. lunch: subway or chinese? probably subway. diner. contact a—– about hamilton university. gamecube zelda march 24. i should install os x v10.2. can a G3 handle quartz extreme?

step 7292636845325: exhale.

why am i not worried about all of this? i really should be, especially when i sit down and think about my location on the eastern seaboard and the potential for disaster. but i’m not. instead i go to places like new york, wilmington and philadelphia as thoughts of worry and anxiety roll of my back like rain against a yellow slicker. i see people obsessing and being frenzied as they gather duct tape and saranwrap, hoarding food in large blue tubs and buying ample amounts of bottled water. last time i bought duct tape and saranwrap was NEVER. last time i went grocery shopping (which was probably two weeks ago – all hail to eating out!) i bought toothpaste, razors, an extension cord, floss and hand soap. i should be concerned, but i’m not. i am informed and yet uninterested and proceed throughout my day not thinking thoughts of freedom fries, nuclear threats and psychological warfare.

freedom fries? what the FUCK?!

step 729263684536: blink.

step 729263684537: inhale.

Mar 03


new york city was a great time. i will sum it up because i am tired. this weekend was good because of:

good company

good food

a big sign that says yellow rat bastard

and soul calibur 2 (but MAN i look bad in that picture!).

i even got to school some people. TEH R0X0RZ!!!11

(possibly) more tomorrow.

Mar 03


i cleaned up.


sadness, happiness, loss, frustration, joy, despair.

there was once a time

when i knew of correspondence

like the sunshine of a

beautiful day – inspiring

and eloquent it sang

to me like no other

voice i had heard before


she starred at me

with eyes of envy

and compassion

as if i knew

what i wanted

out of life when

all i was certain

of was that i

wanted her

my wrist hurts

i’ve been writing too much

the hands that extend

from my arms

keep moving faster

faster never declining

in speed

a blur is what

remains and

gingerly i close

my eyes