no serious turmoil going on.<\/p>\n
sometimes i get angry at work, but that’s to be expected. i have friends that i love and piss me off a lot, but that’s life. i live with people that are either aloof, too busy, or overbearing but i deal with it. i am not in a major relationship of any kind, which is probably a good thing.<\/p>\n
i think.<\/p>\n
i could spend time contemplating how miserable i was this past year, when my financial situation was uncertain and my heart constantly ached for a love that went sour, but would it be worth it? i’ve started plenty of writing sessions focusing on the issues mentioned, but it always felt like i was overly whiny and that i couldn’t get my head on straight and i was just another fool who lived for drama and was too weak to get out of my self-loathing. i’d usually end up feeling embarrassed or foolish with what i was willing to divulge and would end up selecting all<\/i> and hitting the delete key.<\/p>\n
is it a fear of looking bad? probably. but why should i be? i’ve never claimed to be perfect. i’m nothing close to that. i am living a life of consequences and mistakes, of disregard and sloth.<\/p>\n
my parents had such high hopes for me (i think my dad still might – my mother is probably just happy that i’m not dead). doctor? lawyer? engineer? all possibilities. but i wanted to do it my own way.<\/p>\n
don’t be mistaken; i’m not in a bad place. not at all. i read up on and hear about a lot of people’s lives and there’s this going on and that’s happened and oh my god<\/i><\/b> that’s a lot of shit to deal with, and i’m thankful that some of it isn’t happening to me but feel guilty about not being completely content with my own life.<\/p>\n
fuck, i don’t know what i’m blabbing about. i’m just lost, cruising down an unknown street, with no idea where to turn and whenever i stop to ask for directions i never like what i hear.<\/p>\n
can you dig it?<\/p>\n
maybe i’ll go watch spirited away<\/b> again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
no serious turmoil going on. sometimes i get angry at work, but that’s to be expected. i have friends that i love and piss me off a lot, but that’s life. i live with people that are either aloof, too busy, or overbearing but i deal with it. i am not in a major relationship […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.palesky.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.palesky.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.palesky.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.palesky.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.palesky.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.palesky.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.palesky.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.palesky.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.palesky.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}