Jul 03


life outside of work has been stellar. that’s not to say that things at work aren’t well, it’s just that i’m finding everything boring, and i’ve been having too much idle time lately.

i must confess: writing has not been so much on my mind lately. sometimes i don’t know what to say that hasn’t been already said, and i’d rather be out absorbing the world anyway. it’s a miracle that i was able to get my last design up (thank you for the wonderful comments, everyone!) and although there is a small, tiny voice that keeps nagging to keep trudging forward with more endeavors, the copious amount of real-life options that has recently sprung up have been much more inviting than sitting in front of a computer dragging pixels and watching text fly.

i don’t doubt that the nagging will eventually turn into a craving, so i’m not too worried about randomly disappearing. how quickly this will be is of course uncertain.

is there something about the taken individual (i’m not thinking gender makes things different, but it may) that makes them more appealing? i’ve observed that individuals who have significant others seem to attract others more readily, even if said attractee has no idea that the attracter is seeing someone and even if the attracter is not necessarily trying to attract the attractee. is it the confidence, the lack of really trying to impress whoever and what not, the loss of the “let me get into your pants” ulterior motive?

and yes, i know that attractee is not a word, but you get it.

Jul 03


dreams of late seem to be soundtracked with the musical stylings of autechre. they flow into reality like liquid asphalt, black and relentless, being laid out for a future purpose. i woke up from this aqueous state the other day, with her in my arms and a warm sweat percolating to the surface of my skin. gently i kissed and slid her aside, being careful not to force her out of her slumber. i need to get going, i need to go i mumbled to myself, but as my eyes danced across her outline, watching it rise and fall with each somnolent breath, i found myself captivated.

i watched this for a few minutes, indulging in a smoke, letting time slip by and thinking beautiful thoughts, before deciding to take my leave.

(i’m finding it difficult to write about anything else so… is this annoying?)