life observations, thoughts

i bought ronin for 10 bucks at circuit city today. alright!

i spent a lot of today waiting. i waited to hear responses from clients, i waited to hear responses from the higher ups, i waited for my webhost to get a new mysql database up, and i waited for the pinky finger on my right hand to stop hurting. i waited for a whole lot of nothing.

not that i’m angry or disgruntled about it or anything, i just wish things could have… i guess… happened. i definitely could have gone without the finger hurting – every time i would need to make a capital letter that required me to press the right shift button with my pinky, i would wince ever so slightly at the discomfort that would occur. i proceeded to go through the day either massaging my pinky (i’m beginning to dislike referring to it as my “pinky”… heh) or cracking its knuckles, which was probably totally counterproductive.

oh well.

despite the waiting, i had one of those fun days. where everything seemed funny and nothing really seemed that bad – at least not knowingly. i just laughed at silly jokes and ridiculous scenarios, and the laughing and giggling and bellowing definitely carried my attitude for the rest of day, because i’m in a damn fine mood.

laughing is great. laughing is perhaps one of the most wonderful things ever – it can lift you out of a bad mood, it can confirm a oneness with your peers and it can make something uneasy easy. i love when you reach that point where you’ve laughed so hard that your stomach is beginning to ache, and sometimes you are forced to leave the room otherwise you might bust a gut. i love when someone tells a story and you just can’t help but reach deep down and let out loud sound of amusement and everyone is letting out a similar sound along with you. i love being able to say something that will make a friend laugh and bring them out of a less than stellar mood.

laughing is great, wouldn’t you agree?

people i still keep in contact from the “dew drop inn”: 1 :)

# of cd’s i brought into work: 4

# of cd’s i listened to at work: 2

we sat there around the table, mouthing words and muttering phrases that make no sense to me now. most of us sat there ineffectively as a blathering monkey attempted to spew commands to all who were willing to listen. i never discovered if he was ever successful in his task (he being that blathering monkey); my mind was swimming in a morning pool of post-sleep numbness and monday belligerence.

i floated in and out of different thoughts that sometimes pertained to the situation at hand. all at once my mind flashed on pouring maple syrup on pancakes, the lack of loyalty c—- now holds for the company, and how so and so looked with her “big puffies”. the hour long torture session consisted of many such amalgamated thoughts, while i continued to portray an indifferent face to those around me.

i am hungry, and have ordered chinese food. this is right after j—- tells me that he wishes i was dripping of sex juice. i guess that’s why i was laughing uncontrollably while i phoned in my order – here’s to hoping that there isn’t anything disagreeable swimming in my vat of sweet and sour.

days without a smoke: 1 month, 3 days

what time i got up: 8:45 am

how many unripe bananas i ate for breakfast: 1

every opportunity i had to be in front of a computer, i took it. when i wasn’t doing some grocery shopping, or traversing the perils of bed frame assembly over at my dad’s place, i was thinking about surfing across website links. i was thinking whether this graphic would have enough pixel width and whether she had gotten my email.

an old time addiction has returned and has returned in full force.

i don’t think it’s a bad thing. it’s kept me away from things that usually end up being non-productive; namely sitting in front of a television for hours on end, trying to decide which of the four steven seagal movies on would be the least damaging for me to watch.

i went swimming the other day. in an environment where i once used to feel like a fish flowing to and fro exploring the magical depths of the ocean, i now felt like a gelatinous donut that had been handled carelessly at the side of the neighborhood pool. not to say i am out of shape… wait a minute, i am out of shape. that’s why i was swimming in the first place. but you know what? swimming was a lot fun.

writing and designing again has been a lot of fun as well. i wasn’t really doing stuff for myself for quite awhile. i was busy doing this and that and not feeling good about it, and whenever the chance would come up to do something that required the least amount of discipline or responsibility, i was there. somewhere though, i remembered how fun being creative used to be. i remembered how it helped keep my mind active, how it helped in my career, and how it helped breed motivation just by being.

i’m not completely out of it though – not by a long shot, and i know it. but i’ll tell you what: it feels pretty good to think i’ve taken a step in the right direction. if anything, it’s helped me fill up on ammo for my self-deprecation. heh.

days without a smoke: 1 month, 2 days.

how many times a— asked me something without initially picking up on my sarcasm: 5

today’s random surf: volatile.org, andretorrez, minced chicken LO.