life observations, thoughts

LIBAMF #1

stop and say, “what are you gonna do?”

LIBAMF #2

just chill, and be like “it’ll be cool”

LIBAMF #3

whatever, so let whatever happens, happen

LIBAMF #4

if you don’t need to sweat it, then don’t

LIBAMF #5

ask yourself “is it worth the aggravation?”

LIBAMF #6

stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, and take the deepest breath you can

(in your nose, out your mouth)

LIBAMF #7

LIFE has no meaning. YOU give it meaning. so whatever happens in life, YOU give it the meaning that you want so that it empowers you. (this is completely different from life doesn’t matter; realize the distinction because life does matter!)

anyone with a mac (preferably os x) must play enigmo. i downloaded it yesterday, and passed much of the day watching droplets of water, oil and fire bounce every which way. an appreciated distraction, no diggity.

i’d like to write about my weekend, but i feel like i don’t know what happened. i spent a lot of it sleeping in and being tired when i wasn’t sleeping. every night i managed to consume some sort of alcohol. i barely touched my own computer – whenever i happened to be in front of one, it wasn’t my own. i sawed trees (is that right? sawed trees?) and other random wood things, and spent several hours contemplating whether i should wash my car. i didn’t of course; instead i played silly games and watched movies with my little sister. can’t believe she’ll be 5 soon. amazing.

i hate getting one paycheck a month. ugh.

and, i find myself lusting after someone that i really don’t know, who doesn’t know me, someone oh so far away. there would be no real way to get to know each other with the current set of variables – even with long, exciting and cerebral conversations – not without being in person and experiencing the intimate nods of a yes in agreement, or the gentle caress of a comfortable and drawn out moment of silence.

but, it is lust after all. maybe if it lasts longer, if it lasts with the gentle shake of time, then maybe. possibility.

in the meantime i will walk slowly, tread quietly, for the heart can be a gentle and fragile thing – dropped too many times within a certain amount of time and it may prove to be too difficult to mend.

—

yoga yesterday: kicked my ass. sure, some of my friends laughed and heckled me with taunts of “that is so gay”, “man, that is really gay” and “dude, gay!” but that doesn’t matter. i wasn’t going to knock something that i had no real experience with, especially since it genuinely interests me. and like i said, it kicked my ass. i was a little worried when i read people saying that it definitely wasn’t for beginners (like myself) but care convinced that should i keep at it, that i would easily get used to it.

it’s new and it will take time, but i think i like it. i think i can be all about something that incubates thoughts of good health, good body, good mind.